The best thing you can do is continue encouraging them to create an estate plan so all their assets are safely managed. A good estate plan will include a Durable Power of Attorney and a Medical Power of Attorney, so you'll be in a better position to help if they do become a target of fraud.
Most experts would suggest a family meeting, and I agree. Such a gathering gives the hands-on caregiver the opportunity to clarify the parents' needs and explain all they do. It also gives the siblings a chance to learn about the situation, participate in care decisions and brainstorm how they can pitch in.
You really should not have your name on your Mom's checking account. It's best to have a separate checking account and to use a durable power of attorney for finances - that way bills can be paid by the POA.
One major drawback of joint bank accounts is the automatic transfer of ownership upon the death of one account holder. This can bypass the deceased's will and complicate estate planning. A POA does not grant ownership; it merely allows the agent to act on behalf of the principal.
Which sibling should take care of elderly parents? The eldest sibling typically becomes the primary caregiver, however, circumstances are different in each family. Siblings can try to divide tasks equally or based on their financial means and schedules.
In California, filial responsibility laws could obligate an adult child to financially support their infirm or indigent parent. Learn about how this duty of filial responsibility applies to estate and trust litigation by reading our in-depth analysis of California Family Code section 4400.
Look for a change in parental spending patterns, whether they're spending a lot more, a lot less or on items that they have never spent money on before and that don't seem to be a lifestyle fit. Maybe the bills are piling up unopened (on the kitchen table or in their email inbox).
Neither the nursing home nor the government will seize your home to cover expenses while you are living in care. However, if you run out of funds to pay for the care you need, your estate's assets may be taken after your death to cover those costs.
Consider a power of attorney
Executing a power of attorney with your parent ensures you have the legal authority to make important decisions when your parent is unable to. Contact an attorney specializing in elder law for help in drafting a power of attorney that fits your needs.
If you have a straightforward estate and mature adult children, leaving assets outright to them might be appropriate. However, if you have a large estate or a more complicated family picture, it's more likely you'll want to leave assets in a trust to better manage and control the distribution over time.
You should consider consulting with a trust litigation attorney the moment you suspect a brother or sister is stealing your inheritance or assets from the estate. The sooner you engage counsel, the sooner they can open communications with the suspected sibling and/or their attorney to address the theft.
If siblings' behavior doesn't change, it's time to do what caregivers without siblings do: Find support and help elsewhere. You don't have to go it alone. Caregiver support groups, other relatives, and friends who have been caregivers can provide a place to vent or to find help and support.
It's generally a good idea to consider your elderly parents' well-being before you walk away—but if your parent's behavior is hurting you, or you aren't equipped to handle their issues, walking away can be totally justified.
Elderly dietary problems can be caused by a number of different factors: lack of interest in food due to changing taste buds, depression, or loneliness; lack of energy to cook; loss of appetite due to health conditions; and medication side effects, to name just a few.
Through the use of a valid Power of Attorney, an Agent can sign checks for the Principal, withdraw and deposit funds from the Principal's financial accounts, change or create beneficiary designations for financial assets, and perform many other financial transactions.
Most joint bank or credit union accounts are held with “rights of survivorship.” This means that when one account owner dies, the money passes to the surviving owner, or equally to the rest of the owners if there are multiple people on the account.
The POA is “stale”: Some banks can be reluctant to accept so-called “stale” POA documents that were drafted years ago. The fear is that new documents could have been drafted since then, and the banks don't want to hand over access to customers' accounts to the wrong people.