Yes, you can refuse to care for elderly parents. However,
Most filial laws require you to support your parents' basic living needs. This can include food, medical bills (mental and physical), housing, and additional care they receive (nursing homes/facilities). Currently, 30 states legally require you to take care of your elderly parents, including: Alaska.
Specifically, California Family Code section 4400 (“FC 4400”) states that, “Except as otherwise provided by law, an adult child shall, to the extent of the adult child's ability, support a parent who is in need and unable to self-maintain by work.”
In the U.S., requiring that children care for their elderly parents is a state-by-state issue. Some states mandate that financially able children support impoverished parents or just specific healthcare needs. Other states don't require an obligation from the children of older adults.
Taking care of parents is a dharma. We should not counter and make arguments what they had done to us and should not desert them. It is our responsibility and a bounden duty. Any help done in anticipation of something is not laudable.
More than half of all states currently have laws making adult children financially responsible for their parents, including their long-term care costs. However, these laws are rarely enforced.
Ephesians 6:1-3
“Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 'Honor your father and mother.' This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, 'Things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.'
Yes, you can refuse to care for elderly parents. However, filial responsibility laws obligate children to provide their parents with clothing, food, housing, and medical attention.
Thirty U.S. states currently have filial responsibility laws that obligate adult children to support parents if they can't do it themselves. Filial laws require children to provide for parents' basic needs such as food, housing, and medical care.
The states that have such laws on the books are Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, ...
For these seniors, in home care services, such as help from a personal care aide or home health aide, may be the right choice. Other seniors may prefer assisted living facilities or nursing homes. If your parents want to remain in their home, evaluate local licensed home care agencies.
If siblings' behavior doesn't change, it's time to do what caregivers without siblings do: Find support and help elsewhere. You don't have to go it alone. Caregiver support groups, other relatives, and friends who have been caregivers can provide a place to vent or to find help and support.
This is then what we claim our filial obligation regarding care for elderly parents is: to maintain the relationship, and by maintaining contact, trying to be sensitive to one's elderly parents' needs.
In fact, more than half of all states currently have laws making adult children financially responsible for their parents, including their parents' long-term care costs. However, these laws are rarely enforced. Notably, New Jersey does not have filial responsibility laws, however, Pennsylvania does.
To be a good daughter, you'll need to show your parents that you love and respect them. There is no one way to do this since each family is different, but in general this means that you should listen to your parents, be responsible and help out around the house, and be open, honest, and kind.
Another common saying of caregivers is, “caring for my elderly mother is killing me.” Everyone, caregivers not accepted, has the right to just say no. It is okay to say, “I don't want to,” without explaining. There is no need to apologize or give any reasons.
States with filial responsibility laws are: Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, ...
You may be able to get paid for taking care of elderly parents at home through Medicaid, veterans benefits, long-term care insurance policies, or other state-specific programs.
Aging adults without money to support them through the rest of their lives can stay in a nursing home for up to 100 days—and Medicaid will cover the cost for this brief period. Seniors who reside in an assisted living facility and run out of funds will be evicted.
While the tradition of the eldest sibling taking on the primary caregiving role may be rooted in respect, you need to recognize that your family's circumstances are unique, and caregiving responsibilities for your elderly parents should be distributed in a way that works best for everyone involved.
Filial responsibility laws (filial support laws, filial piety laws) are laws in the United States that impose a duty, usually upon adult children, for the support of their impoverished parents or other relatives. In some cases the duty is extended to other relatives.
Adulthood is legally recognized as 18 years of age in most countries. However, some parents don't seem to consider that fact, continuing their controlling ways even after their children have reached that age threshold.
“Children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children” 2 Corinthians 12:14.
The first duty of children is to respect their parents. Always treat them with humility. No matter what the parents are, a child is always their best person. So, children should not be disobedient to their parents, at all.
The Bible does not identify a specific age at which children become responsible to God for their actions. The Lord has made us unique and knows us better than we know ourselves. He who knows our hearts, knows at what stage each of us is ready to receive the freedom to choose our eternal destiny.