Men Often Experience a Loss of Identity But when a divorce happens, men lose most of it – the spouse, the children, the familial bond, and the happiness. The custody of the children is often given to the mother, while the father only gets the visitation rights.
Divorce is expensive, and researchers at the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis quantified some of the losses. After separation, men's incomes on average drop 17% while they decline 9% for women, researchers said in a blog post Monday.
Let's start with the hard facts - after divorce, women are more likely to experience a significant household income drop than men. The same is true in comparisons of same-sex marriages. Lesbians who divorce are more likely to experience financial loss than gay men who divorce.
Nine states (Arizona, California, Louisiana, Idaho, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin) have what are known as community property laws, which divide marital property equally upon divorce. Marital property is generally defined as all income, property, and debts acquired during the marriage.
Some may feel an immense sense of relief, while others undergo feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety. Beyond these emotions, divorce can challenge a man's sense of self, disrupt daily routines, and bring about drastic alterations in his social life, financial standing, and legal obligations.
Men Feel Lost and Alienated Due to Small Support Network
So when they go through a divorce, men often feel lost, alone, and alienated. They find it difficult to fully express and share their sorrow and unhappiness with people, including their parents, siblings, and long-time friends.
Most men experience a 10–40% drop in their standard of living. Child support and other divorce-related payments, a separate home or apartment, and the possible loss of an ex-wife's income add up. Generally: Men who provide less than 80% of a family's income before the divorce suffer the most.
Money earned during the marriage cannot go into the separate account. Any inheritance money or gifts made to you can go into a separate account. If the gift has both spouses' names on it (such as a wedding gift check), it can't go into the separate account without commingling the funds.
In community property states like California, marital assets and debts are typically split 50/50 between the spouses, unless they decide on a different arrangement. On the other hand, equitable distribution states focus on a fair, not necessarily equal, division of marital assets and debts.
About 27 percent of females and 32 percent of males regretted divorce. There are a variety of reasons people regret it.
Though women tend to take a bigger financial hit from divorce, men often suffer more emotionally and psychologically. Men are more likely than women to suffer from depression after a divorce, and when they experience depression, it tends to consume men more fully than it consumes women.
Whether accepted or not, there is one fact that cannot be disputed. And that is that women initiate divorce more often than men on average. Numerous studies have shown this. In fact, nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women.
Truth be told, on average a woman can expect an almost 30% decline in her standard of living following divorce, while men often see an increase of 10%. Indeed, following a divorce, some changes to lifestyle are often inevitable. And, clearly, it is a highly emotional time for many.
Develop a budget based on needs– not wants – and keep in mind that your expenses need to stay within your post-divorce income. Consider all sources of income – including spousal and child support, keeping in mind that they won't last forever – as well as investment income.
Divorce can bring its own financial worries as newly single people may be left with less income to cover the bills, but it's not all bad news. Divorcees may find these seven silver linings to their new life: Easier budgeting and greater control over money. Early access to a retirement fund, penalty-free.
Financial Divorce Recovery Strategies
First, consider creating a post-divorce budget that takes into account your new single income. You may have some debt to pay off from the divorce, and a budget will help ensure you don't accrue additional debt.
Many married couples own their home, and in most cases, it is their largest asset. If one partner moves out of the house before a divorce is finalized, it could lead to complications in how the court handling your divorce views the division of property, child custody, court-ordered support payments, and more.
One of the most significant ways moving out can influence your divorce is when it comes to child custody. If you move out, it means you don't spend as much time with your kids. Not only can this harm your relationship, but it can also damage your custody claims.
Each state has guidelines to calculate spousal support. However, they are generally just that – guidelines. Whether or not spousal support should be awarded is up to the discretion of the judge. The judge can also decide the amount of spousal support and the period of time that it should be paid.
Financial Considerations in Custody Agreements
You should not make large purchases or empty your bank account during divorce proceedings. If you open a separate bank account you should use it in a reasonable and appropriate manner.
Marital assets and debts are shared 50/50 between a married couple in California unless they agree on a different arrangement.
Willardson pointed to a statistic from the Government Accountability Office which reports that, after a divorce, a woman's household income drops by an average of 41%, almost twice the income drop experienced by men.
But, there's another divorce statistic that's even more unfortunate — one in every four men regret ending their marriage and, in retrospect, wish they had done something differently. To offer some perspective, we asked a handful of divorced men this exact question.
Men have just as much of a right to win in a divorce settlement as women do. So what men need to remember is that their behavior and actions during divorce are incredibly important.