The Bible says that it is good and acceptable before God to requite our parents, and if you fail to do this, you have denied the faith and are worse than an infidel (1 Tim 5:3-4, 8). I want to honor God by being obedient and doing what he has asked me to do. I also love my parents very much.
Deuteronomy 5:16
We are to honor our parents our whole lives, including caring for them if they need it. There are some caveats to this which we'll touch on later, but if your parents need your help and you can do so financially, you are encouraged to do so.
No Legal Obligation: In many places, there is no legal requirement for adult children to financially support their parents, although some jurisdictions have laws about filial responsibility that can impose such obligations under specific circumstances.
“Honor your father and mother” — which is the first commandment with a promise — “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy a long life on the earth.” (Eph 6:2–3) In honoring our parents, we not only please God but also hope for the blessing of a fulfilling and prosperous life.
The Bible strongly encourages us to care for members of our family especially older people, children, and those who may be in need. I Timothy 5:8 says, "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
Honoring our fathers and mothers is the fifth commandment and sets the standard that is echoed throughout Scripture to submit to our parents, for this pleases the Lord (Ephesians 6:1-2; Colossians 3:20). Caring for our parents in their later years is the culmination of a life submitted to honoring them.
In California, filial responsibility laws could obligate an adult child to financially support their infirm or indigent parent. Learn about how this duty of filial responsibility applies to estate and trust litigation by reading our in-depth analysis of California Family Code section 4400.
The obligation of children to support their parents is not absolute. It is contingent upon the parents being in need, meaning they are unable to support themselves through their own efforts or resources. This typically applies to parents who are elderly, sick, or otherwise incapacitated.
Above all, the decision of whether to give money to your parents should come down to your own financial situation.
1 Timothy 5:8 Amplified Bible (AMP)
If anyone fails to provide for his own, and especially for those of his own family, he has denied the faith [by disregarding its precepts] and is worse than an unbeliever [who fulfills his obligation in these matters].
PROVERBS 19:17
“Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done.” Sometimes we need a little extra incentive to remind ourselves to be generous.
ESV Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed. NIV Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done. NASB One who is gracious to a poor person lends to the Lord, And He will repay him for his good deed.
According to the Ten Commandments, children are obligated to honor their parents. “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (Deuteronomy 5:16).
Most filial laws require you to support your parents' basic living needs. These can include food, medical bills (mental and physical), housing, and additional care they receive, such as stays at nursing homes.
Colossians 3:21 In-Context
21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. 22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.
It's not uncommon for adult children to financially support their parents. In fact, the U.S. Census1 reports that as recently as 2020, 4.3 million American adults were providing $17.5 billion in voluntary financial support to their parents.
In order to decide when to cut the financial cord, ask yourself these questions: Are your adult children capable of supporting themselves? Have your children reached milestones in which they no longer need the same help anymore? Examples include graduating from college or getting a full-time job.
There is no universally correct age that parents should stop supporting their children once they reach adulthood, as each family will need to make the determination based on what is best for their wallets and to best support their values.
Filial laws require children to provide for parents' basic needs such as food, housing, and medical care. The extent of filial responsibility varies by state, along with conditions that make it enforceable including the parent's age and the adult child's financial situation.
If siblings' behavior doesn't change, it's time to do what caregivers without siblings do: Find support and help elsewhere. You don't have to go it alone. Caregiver support groups, other relatives, and friends who have been caregivers can provide a place to vent or to find help and support.
The Bible is clear about how we are to treat our parents. The fifth commandment says, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). This commandment, and the blessing attached to it, are repeated throughout the old and new testaments.
ESV Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." NIV honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself. ' "
Colossians 3:20 In-Context
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.