Should I refinance or divorce first?

Asked by: Dr. Myrl Luettgen  |  Last update: December 27, 2025
Score: 4.3/5 (75 votes)

Option 1: Refinancing before filing for divorce (easiest) This is because, when you talk to your mortgage lender about refinancing, they will ask you your marital status. If you refinance before you file, you report that you're still married, and then removing one of the spouses from the mortgage loan is much easier.

Is it better to refinance before or after divorce?

Removing a current spouse from a mortgage is easier than removing a former spouse. You may not know how assets will be allocated yet. If interest rates are climbing, waiting to refinance after the divorce is settled could leave you with a higher rate.

Who loses more financially in a divorce?

Whatever the reason, today's truth is that women, not men, take the financial hit in divorce -- and it takes years to recover. Multiple studies conducted over the last 10 years all demonstrate that a woman's income drops significantly after divorce, while a man's stays the same or increases.

How financially damaging is divorce?

Any financial stability that the family enjoyed could be upset, posing lasting challenges to all parties involved. According to some estimates, divorcing individuals will need more than a 30% increase in income to maintain their standard of living post-divorce.

Should I move out or file for divorce first?

Fundamentals: Do Not Move Out Moving out of the marital residence before divorce is final is the worst mistake you can make if you want a fair and quick settlement. This is especially true when minor children are involved, and you are seeking primary custody from the court.

Breaking Free: How to get OUT of a MORTGAGE with your EX-Spouse

37 related questions found

Why is moving out the biggest mistake in a divorce?

Spousal Support Rulings

Additionally, the parent who moves out will likely have more expensive alimony and child support payments to make, especially if not having custody of the children. This could make it difficult financially for many years to come once orders are set.

Who moves on faster after divorce?

Men usually start dating sooner, although they do it to prove (to themselves and others) they've moved on. Men tend to re-marry more than women do. Many men tend to compartmentalize the pain and just try to fix the situation by marrying again.

Who comes out better in divorce?

Ultimately, the overall economic quality of a man's life, based on earnings and amount spent on living expenses, increases after his divorce. He continues to earn more but bears fewer family expenses. The overall economic quality of a woman's life, post-divorce, decreases.

How to avoid getting screwed in a divorce?

Ten Ways to Keep From Screwing Up Your Divorce
  1. Get professional help. ...
  2. Get your share. ...
  3. Insure your future. ...
  4. Terminate joint debt. ...
  5. Consider taxes on support. ...
  6. Transfer retirement assets. ...
  7. Rev up your retirement planning. ...
  8. Cut your ex out of your will.

What do men lose in a divorce?

Men Often Experience a Loss of Identity

Our family makes up a large part of who we are. They form a critical part of our lives. But when a divorce happens, men lose most of it – the spouse, the children, the familial bond, and the happiness.

How do I protect myself financially in a divorce?

How Do I Protect Myself Financially From My Spouse During a...
  1. Create a Financial Plan for Your Divorce. ...
  2. Open Your Own Bank Account. ...
  3. Separate Your Debt. ...
  4. Monitor Your Credit Score. ...
  5. Take an Inventory of Your Assets. ...
  6. Review Your Retirement Accounts. ...
  7. Consider Mediation Before Litigation. ...
  8. Popular Family Law Articles.

What is the first thing to do when separating?

The First 5 Things To Do When Separating
  1. Step 1: Select a Divorce Attorney.
  2. Step 2: Determine Grounds For Divorce.
  3. Step 3: Understand State Laws.
  4. Step 4: Financial Assessment.
  5. Step 5: Nurture Your Well-Being.

What will I lose if I get divorced?

Marital property is generally defined as all income, property, and debts acquired during the marriage. That property is seen as owned equally by both spouses and will be distributed equally after the divorce, with a couple of caveats.

At what point is it not worth it to refinance?

A refinance is likely not worth it if the financial benefit is lower than the refinancing costs. A refi can also be a waste of time and money if you move before you hit the break-even point on closing costs. Also, if you add more years to your payoff, you'll be in debt longer and paying a greater amount of interest.

How can I keep my house in divorce without refinancing?

If you want to keep the house and don't have enough equity to do a cash-out refinance or the money to pay your ex their share, the solution might be a home equity line of credit (HELOC) or home equity loan.

Does my husband still have to pay the mortgage if he leaves?

Joint mortgage responsibility

If both spouses' names are on the mortgage, then both must keep paying, even if one leaves. Whether the spouse lives in the home or not, they remain financially tied to the mortgage until they pay it in full or it gets legally modified.

What is the biggest mistake in divorce?

Mistake #1: Waiting Too Long to Get a Divorce.

If you know your marriage is over but just want to wait a little longer, a lot of bad things can happen. When emotions run high, you may find yourself in a physical altercation that could result in an arrest or protective order.

What is the #1 cause of divorce?

Overall, the results indicate that the most often cited reasons for divorce at the individual level were lack of commitment (75.0%), infidelity (59.6%), and too much conflict and arguing (57.7%), followed by marrying too young (45.1%), financial problems (36.7%), substance abuse (34.6%), and domestic violence (23.5%).

Who loses the most in a divorce?

Most men experience a 10–40% drop in their standard of living. Child support and other divorce-related payments, a separate home or apartment, and the possible loss of an ex-wife's income add up. Generally, Men who provide less than 80% of a family's income before the divorce suffer the most.

Who is usually happier after divorce?

Women are “significantly more content than usual for up to five years following the end of their marriages, even more so than their own average or baseline level of happiness throughout their lives,” according to a 2013 study from London's Kingston University.

Who suffers most financially in divorce?

There is a good body of research on the subject that shows women bear the heaviest financial burden when a couple divorces.

What percentage of my ex-husband's social security can I get?

The Bottom Line

If you meet the requirements, you can receive benefits equal to as much as 50% of your ex's retirement benefit. Filing for these benefits is a fairly straightforward process, and to protect your privacy, your ex-spouse won't be notified when you do. Social Security Administration.

Who regrets divorce the most?

A quick scrolling of what the engines and algorithms are producing on-line indicates that both men and women regret divorce, with a higher percentage of men admitting to that debilitating emotion. The initial glance stands at 27 percent of women owning up to regret post-divorce vs. 39 percent of men.

Is the first relationship after a divorce doomed?

If you've put in the work to avoid the same mistakes you made in your past relationships, and took some time to heal before you started dating again, there's no reason why you can't have a healthy, long-term relationship. And realize too, that if your first relationship after divorce doesn't last, that's also okay.

What is the hardest stage of divorce?

Perhaps the most difficult period of divorce is the “separation period.” That is the time between when you decide to get a divorce, and the date when you are actually divorced.