On their deathbeds, people often express love, gratitude, apologies, and deep regrets, frequently wishing they had lived more authentically, worked less, expressed feelings, stayed connected with friends, and allowed themselves to be happier. Common themes include unfulfilled dreams, balancing work with life, finding inner peace, and seeking forgiveness, often resulting in profound insights or profound sadness about choices made.
The most common things people say when dying often revolve around love, forgiveness, and connection, with frequent phrases like "I love you," "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," and "Thank you" being reported by hospice workers, alongside calling out for parents (like "Mama") or loved ones, expressing readiness ("I'm ready," "Time to go"), or sometimes speaking in metaphors or to deceased relatives. While profound statements are common, many final words are brief, fragmented, or non-verbal as the body shuts down.
Thank You. I will always love you. You gave meaning to my life. I forgive you and love you unconditionally. Please Forgive me. You have been an exceptional human being, you've done such good work here, you won't be forgotten. We'll tell our children and they'll tell theirs all the wonderful things about you.
The three classic "magical phrases" to comfort someone dying, popularized by personal accounts, are: "You will not be alone," "You will not feel pain," and "We will be okay," offering presence, relief, and reassurance to both the dying person and their loved ones, while other deeply comforting words include "I love you," "Thank you," and "I'm here with you".
Here are some thoughtful phrases to consider: “I'm here for you.” This lets the person know they have your support. “I love you.” Expressing love is always comforting. “Thank you for being you.” Acknowledge them for the positive impact they've had in your life.
The "hospice 80/20 rule" refers to a Medicare requirement mandating that at least 80% of hospice care must be delivered in the patient's home (residence, assisted living, etc.) for comfort, with the remaining 20% potentially in inpatient facilities for acute pain or respite. A separate, newer 80/20 rule from CMS for Medicaid requires 80% of payments for Home & Community-Based Services (HCBS) to go to direct care worker wages, aiming to improve caregiver pay, though this has sparked industry debate over its impact on access.
Saying your last goodbye involves expressing love, gratitude, and saying “I love you,” sharing memories, and offering reassurance or forgiveness, focusing on sincerity and connection rather than a perfect script, using phrases like "Thank you for everything," "You'll always be in my heart," or "I'll see you again" to convey deep meaning, even if words are hard to find.
Foot rubs, stroking an arm or shoulder, kisses, smiles and gazing into someone's eyes all communicate compassion, love and gratitude for a shared lifetime. Your presence and your touch rank among the most eloquent, regret-free ways there are to say goodbye.
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.
Speak soothing words
Yes, many people seem to have an intuitive sense or awareness that they are dying as death approaches, often showing physical signs like fatigue or breathing changes, and sometimes experiencing a surge of clarity (terminal lucidity) to say goodbyes, though some slip into unconsciousness and may not fully know until the end. While not always conscious, there's often an instinctive awareness, sometimes accompanied by spiritual or mystical feelings, and physical changes like "air hunger" or confusion are common indicators for both the person and caregivers, according to experts.
Avoid talking in an overly optimistic way, for example, “You'll be up in no time”. Such comments block the possibility of discussing how they're really feeling – their anger, fears, faith etc. Apologise if you think you've said the wrong thing. Let them know if you feel uncomfortable.
Whether you're writing a private farewell, a public tribute, or a simple message, these examples honour the bond that endures even after goodbye.
Farewell, and stay amazing! Saying goodbye isn't easy, but it's part of the journey… Goodbye and good luck! We hope it's not goodbye; it's 'see you later'!
What shuts down first when dying? As a person enters the final days or hours of life, one of the first systems to slow down is the digestive system. Appetite decreases significantly, and individuals may no longer have the desire—or ability—to eat or drink.
The hospice payment update includes a statutory aggregate cap that limits the overall payments per individual that may be made annually to a hospice. The finalized hospice cap amount for FY 2025 is $34,465.34 (FY 2024 cap amount of $33,494.01, increased by the FY 2025 hospice payment update percentage of 2.9%).
To uplift someone, use quotes about resilience like "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." (Samuel Beckett) https://www.positivityblog.com/words-of-encouragement/#:~:text=Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. - Samuel Beckett, strength like "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." (A.A. Milne), or action like "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going." (Sam Levenson), reminding them of their inner power and the value of persistence. Focus on hope, self-belief, and the idea that challenges are temporary, using phrases like "There is always light. If only we're brave enough to see it. If only we're brave enough to be it." (Amanda Gorman) or "It always seems impossible until it's done." (Nelson Mandela) to boost their spirit.