The #1 rule in negotiation is to prepare extensively (knowing your goals, limits, and the other party's interests) or, in practice, to never make the first offer/speak first to maintain leverage. Other top rules include gathering information first and knowing your walk-away point.
Rule 1 — PREPARE AND OPEN POSITIVELY. Like a lot in life, showing up prepared is important. A poorly prepared negotiator can only react. It's OK to see what the other party has to say, but only if you're prepared.
1. Information is Power — So Get It! Self-described "expert" lawyer-negotiators often enter negotiations with arguments intended to persuade the other side of the legitimacy of their positions.
These golden rules: Never Sell; Build Trust; Come from a Position of Strength; and Know When to Walk Away should allow you as a seller to avoid negotiating as much as possible and win.
Most people succeed or fail in a negotiation based on how well-prepared they are (or are not!). We adhere to the 80/20 rule – 80% of negotiation is preparation and 20% is the actual negotiation with the other party.
The 70/30 rule in negotiation is a guideline to listen 70% of the time and talk only 30%, focusing on asking open-ended questions to understand the other party's needs, motivations, and obstacles, thereby building trust, empathy, and finding collaborative solutions, rather than dominating the conversation with your own agenda. A related concept, the 30/70 rule, shifts focus: 70% on preparation (IQ) and 30% on discussion (EQ) early in a relationship, then potentially shifting to more EQ (emotional intelligence/rapport) as the relationship evolves.
You don't make a powerful request.
Pay close attention to the words you use — do not undercut your achievements and weaken your request with phrases like “Is it OK with you …,” “I'd like to ask for …” or “Would it be possible …” Use clear but respectful language.
The best tool to use is the 3-second rule. The Journal of Applied Psychology showed that sitting silently for at least 3 seconds during a difficult time negotiation or conversation leads to better outcomes. Embrace silence as your stealth strategy.
Negotiation Strategy: Seven Common Pitfalls to Avoid
The 5 negotiation techniques you must know
5 Things You Should Never Say When You're Negotiating
The Rule of Three is simply getting someone to agree to the same thing three times in the same conversation. Personally when I first learned this skill my biggest fear was how I execute this without sounding like a broken record or coming off as being really pushy. Well the answer is by coupling your skills.
Establish your target salary
Make sure to research the average salary for people in your position and industry with the same level of experience. Then, come up with a figure to give your manager when they ask. Typically, it's appropriate to ask for a raise of 10-20% more than what you're currently making.
As a negotiator, you must be prepared for such tactics at every turn. Most tactics fall into one of five basic categories: Pressure, Delaying, Manipulative, Power (One-Up) and Collaborative.
The 3-6-9 rule in relationships is a guideline for pacing a new connection through three stages: the first three months are the honeymoon phase (infatuation, fun), the next three (months 3-6) involve the beginning of the conflict stage (seeing flaws, arguments), and the final three (months 6-9) are the decision-making stage (evaluating long-term potential), helping couples see past initial attraction to genuine compatibility before major commitments.
The 4 C negotiation strategy is an approach that aims to create a solid and lasting customer relationship while maximizing the results of a commercial negotiation. This method is based on four essential pillars to conduct an effective negotiation: Contact, Know, Convince, Conclude.
The Pareto principle states that for many outcomes, roughly 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes. In other words, a small percentage of causes have an outsized effect.
The 3-3-3 rule in sales is a versatile framework for structuring outreach and engagement, often meaning making 3 touches (calls/emails/social) over 3 weeks, or focusing on 3 seconds to grab attention, 3 minutes to build interest, and following up within 3 days, or even 3 contacts across 3 levels in a company to deepen relationships. It emphasizes consistency, clarity, and strategic focus in prospecting and nurturing leads to build stronger connections and improve conversion rates, according to various sales experts.